COFFEE BLACK
“The barista shook his head. That hedge couldn’t have moved closer overnight. Could it?”
Don't be foolish, you're just imagining things.
"Coffee, black, please?" a stranger demands.
"Yes, sir. Anything for a connoisseur of the bean?"
His face contorts. "A what? What did you call me?"
"Oh, no sir. A connoisseur an expert, someone who loves the pure taste of the coffee bean. No insult intended." I add a bear claw to his order. "No charge, please, enjoy."
"Shit, I'm sorry." He wipes his forehead with a napkin. "I'm exhausted, been driving all day. Still have hours to go. Never drink the stuff, but I need to stay awake. Thanks." He picked up the bear claw and took a bite. "Now that I consider myself a connoisseur of, d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s."
I cringe, smile, and switch off the open sign. He'll be dead before he gets the key in the ignition. His tall, lanky body is perfect.
Time to start that row of Gumby shaped hedges.
150 words
Yolanda Renee © 2015
*****
GUMBY
Since Gumby and I are too old is so unfamiliar and folks don't get the gist of the story
I thought I should post this. :)
Enjoy!
*****
I had to look up the word 'gumby' and now your story makes sense - good twist as always.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sally, I thought everyone knew Gumby - but my husband had to point out it's an age thing - I'm old! LOL
DeleteWonderful done.
ReplyDeleteThanks Yarnspinnerr, On my way over!
DeleteNot sure those hedges would be a hit with the local neighborhood lol
ReplyDeleteThe complainers wouldn't last long! LOL
DeleteGreat mystery/chilling story! Reminds me of Twilight Zone. loved it! Here are my two urls:
ReplyDeletehttps://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com and http://pricelessjoy@icloud.com.
Hey Priceless, coming over for a visit! Thanks!
DeleteNice story Yolanda! I like that something nasty is going to happen to the customer. Thanks again for another excellent contribution to the Mondays Finish the Story challenge, and be well... ^..^
ReplyDeleteThe service industry takes all the sh-- it only seemed fair! Thanks Barb!
DeleteI love you can take a pleasant looking picture and turn it into something chilling and sinister.
ReplyDeleteHi Chrys, and I honestly don't know how I do that.
DeleteYou always make such perfectly chilling stories in do few words.He was a jerk anyway.
ReplyDeleteLOL Maurice, and yet my third book is coming in at 142000 + my editor doesn't think so.
DeleteI totally agree with Chrys - you have such a knack for taking something totally innocent looking and making it so creepy!! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie, you made me smile!
DeleteThat was creepy and awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alex, and here I thought I had telephoned it in. In the middle of edits for Murder & Obsession, I took a quick break to write it. Hubby didn't like it at all!!
DeleteWhoa, dude! Thank God all the Starbucks shops I frequent are in urban areas with very little greenery in their immediate vicinities! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad I don't drink coffee! Thanks Mina, especially for posting the about the WEP - you are awesome!
DeleteI looked up "Gumby" and it could easily make a good hedge! (Gumby looks old enough that we'd never have had in the UK).
ReplyDeleteI wonder if anyone is starting to wonder where all the incredibly life-like hedges are coming from? :-)
Such a sweet little tale of murder and mayhem. Well done
ReplyDeleteCreeped me out, but that was the idea, right. Great sharp story with fab dialogue. Gum by flummoxed me too. :-)
ReplyDelete*chuckle* ...'You gets what you pays for' - now just what was in that bearclaw???
ReplyDeleteI used to work in a coffee shop many moons ago. There were some folks I would have liked to turn into 'hedges'. :)
Not a place I'd stop for a snack. Good twist at the end. Well done, Yolanda. :) --- Suzanne
ReplyDelete