TAKING OVER THE WORLD

Welcome to another awesome Monday! 

Today, I am hosting L G Keltner's cover reveal for her upcoming release 

HOW I LEARNED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD THROUGH TOLERATING MY FAMILY. 

A novella to be released on 

December 1, 2015 

Just in time for Christmas!

Blurb:

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.

Bio:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family

Author: L.G. Keltner

Genre: Holiday/Humor

Length: 27,000

Cover Art: L.G. Keltner

Release Date: December 1, 2015

Pre-Order Links:

Amazon

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

Kobo

Add it onGoodreads

*****************************************

I hope you're all ready for the M. Pax's annual

REALMS FAIRE

Today is the first day!

Riddle Me This ~ Dueling Bards ~ Phasers ~ Unicorn Hunt ~ Who Roams Here? ~ Beware the Vortex ~ VelociRaffle ~ The Hero’s Dilemma ~Stockade Brigade ~ Hall of Doors ~ The Joust ~ Drench-a-Wench/Soak-a-Bloke

I'll be fighting it out as

Lady Enigmatic in The Joust hosted M. Pax

I hope you'll come along and cheer me on!
Even though my Joust isn't until tomorrow
Please mention me today, and everyday 
to help me win The Joust
and earn a chance to win your own prize!

My magic words are:

Lady Enigmatic

Murder

Cutpurse (means thief) 

I earn points when you use these magic words 

to cheer me on in your comments on the Joust page and you're placed in a drawing to win a prize that day.

Such as!

Lady Enigmatic has an amazing story about a cutpurse involved in murder.

or

Lady Enigmatic solves murder mysteries but she'll easily play the cutpurse to win this Joust.

or

Lady Enigmatic is rumored to have been a former Cutpurse and may have committed murder.

Just copy and paste!

All commenters on this page, and who use these magic words on the Joust Page will be entered into a drawing to win a

$5 Amazon gift card.

Winners will be announced at midnight each day until the Joust is over. 

There's a new winner every day! 

Right here on my blog too!

The more times you comment using the magic words the more entries you'll have!

Plus, M Pax is giving away prizes too!

Hosted by MPax. 

Prizes for the winning knight. 

Prizes drawn daily for the crowd.

Up to 10 knights can joust. Each will battle daily. Magic words will be granted to each knight to pass out to their adoring fans. Knights score points by commenters using their magic words. Knight with the most points at the end of the week wins. What does the knight win? A year of promo on my blog in the slider and a tumbler printed with your championship boasts and badge (SEE HERE).

Winners are drawn daily from the adoring crowds.

Each cheerer may cheer 3x a day!
Each time they cheer, they'll be put into the daily drawing for prizes.
Both on M Pax's Joust page - and here !

Please check it out!

&

From November 9 - 16 & in honor of 

Lady Enigmatic - Yolanda Renee's

 crime thriller mystery Murder, Madness and

 Love is on ‪sale‬ for ‪99 Cents‬!

---

Murder, Madness and Love

Sunlight blazes on an empty canvas.

Arctic winds gather snowflakes on a frosty window ledge as a statuesque form appears. She moves past a table littered with papers. Headlines splash news of murder, but it’s the photo of another young woman with features mirroring her own that draws her attention.

A different headline peeks from underneath the Anchorage Times.

Wealthy Businessman Dies in Car Crash … BLACK WIDOW SUSPECTED!

Graphic images swirl through her head and a tear rolls down her cheek. She drifts toward an easel and a trembling hand dips a sable brush into a palette of paint.

The Westminster doorbell chimes. The brush slips and blood-red paint stains the floor.

Detective Steven Quaid waits. His Tlingit, Indian features carved from granite, mask his Irish passion …

Will he arrest her this time?

All fingers point to her guilt.

But, is she guilty of this cunning plot? Or just a victim of circumstantial evidence?

The door opens …

His eyes lock on hers …

His heart races …

Hers skips a beat.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | Goodreads

And even more exciting news via:

Katie Hamstead Teller

called

The Winner of the $5 Amazon Gift Card & an eBook copy of both Murder Mysteries
Murder, Madness & Love 
and 
Memories of Murder

for Monday is

Sia McKye

CONGRATULATIONS!

(All gift cards will be issued after the Faire)

NATURE'S SOLUTION™

This is a Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Challenge. Hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields  and all based off a photo. This weeks prompt is provided by and copyright to Connie Gayer.

Rochelle requires participants, in 100 words or less write about the picture provided. You can read this week’s stories by clicking on the Blue Links and the Blue Frog.

Friday Fictioneers

NATURE'S SOLUTION™

The sand held hints of the lives lost, strands of wire, coins, and jewels buried deep. Treasure hunters with metal detectors crisscrossed the beach for days. The land was devoid of its former glory. The city was gone, and its entire population too.

         A breezy summer morning determined to be a hot blistering day had turned apocalyptic. A rogue wave forty stories high hit the coast. In the blink of an eye, the resort disappeared. Mom and Dad had planned their retirement for years but barely had the chance to enjoy the fruits of their labor before nature heartlessly rebelled.

100 words

Yolanda Renée © 2015

*****

*****

8 our of 9 of my stories 

were just accepted for publication in

~ espresso stories ~tales you can swallow in a single gulp

25 Word Micro Flash Fiction Tales

'Adventure Leaves No Room for Love'

'Don't Bother Me'

'Hell Hath no Fury . . .'

'Nothing Will Stop Me Now'

'Dinner's Ready'

'Don't Break The Eggs'

'Remember Your Vow'

'The Cost of Freedom'

Please consider reading and voting for my stories.

Thank you!

IWSG - WHERE'S DINNER?

Time for the meeting of the

Insecure Writers with Alex J. Cavanaugh. 

His awesome co-hosts are Stephen Tremp, Karen Walker, Denise Covey, and Tyrean Martinson! 

     Insecurity is a constant thing, something I can banish to the background temporarily, but never really get rid of. I think, and I'm guessing here, that most writers/creative people feel that way. If you don't, then you aren't reading this post because you'd see no reason to belong to the IWSG. J

     Yet, despite all my insecurities, I'm still participating in the NaNoWriMo. This is my fifth time and regardless of a win or not, I've actually felt like a winner each time I've participated. The opportunity to write and have an entire communities support is priceless. In the real world, it's a very different story.

     I love it – you say you're doing NaNo and the world allows you to skip out on other responsibilities, at least the online world does. In the real world, say you're doing NaNo and they look at you as if you've lost your mind.

In my house, it goes something like this:

"What's a NaNo?" Even though it's my 5th year, the same question.

"You're going to write, you do that every damn day now. Husband's snide smile follows.

"Hey Mom, where's dinner?" 30 days out of the 30.

"Mom, all my shirts are dirty." Laundry, it may get done (this I don't promise) but it won't be put away. Notice the living room chair it is now a mountain of stacked clean, folded clothes.

"Mom, where are the spoons?" Dishes stacked up in the sink. Silverware disappears first even though they see the mess in the sink, they all ignore it.

"Pizza, again. I love NaNo!" says a grateful son. Dinner I don't have to cook and they appreciate.

"If you cook Thanksgiving dinner, we'll do the shopping." 

Who can pass up a request like that? I try to have NaNo finished before this, but it's not always possible. Besides, if you stick to the rule of not going back and doing any editing, this is the best time to do that – as long as you've reached the 50,000 that is.

My Goal is:

November 30^th – Book 4 – DARK MOTIVES is complete, well, the first draft is.

(a quickly created cover for NaNo)

Sometimes Dark Motives arise from the best of intentions.

I'm looking forward to this celebration!

Wishing you all a very successful NaNoWriMo!

and/or

the ability to push those insecurities to the background for a very, very long time!

Is eternity too much to ask?

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo?

Does your family understand and offer support or are they like mine and suddenly become even more needy?

*****

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's

 possible; and suddenly you are doing the 

impossible.

Francis of Assisi 

*****

I just learned that 8 of my 9 submissions to 
~ espresso stories ~
tales you can swallow in a single gulp

were accepted for publication. Please drop in and give them a read and a vote. 
I'd love to see them climb the charts!
Such awesome news.
These are micro-flashes of 25 words or less.
Can you tell a story in 25 words, give it a try, it's a blast!
Let me know your favorite.

'Adventure Leaves No Room for Love'

'Don't Bother Me'

'Hell Hath no Fury . . .'

'Nothing Will Stop Me Now'

'Dinner's Ready'

'Don't Break The Eggs'

'Remember Your Vow'

'The Cost of Freedom'

Don't Break the Eggs
is mine.

FALLING OFF THE EDGE

This is a unique flash fiction challenge where Barbara W. Beacham provides a new photo each week, and the first sentence of a story. Our challenge is to finish the story using 100-150 words, not including the sentence provided. Don’t forget to use the opening sentence… The challenge runs from Monday to Sunday! Get creative and finish the story!

Include the photo with your flash and a link back to Barbara's post. Do not forget to click on the blue frog and add your link so that others can enjoy your story too! Now have some fun!

MONDAY'S FINISH THE STORY

FALLING OFF THE EDGE

“She lived a life that some would describe as being on edge.”

Those buffalo nickels were all she had of Jason's. He'd promised to return, but his last deployment to Afghanistan meant she'd never hold him in her arms again.

Teri undertook each adventure they'd vowed to do together. No matter how high the mountain, how hot the desert or how deep the sea, Teri felt no satisfaction or joy.

Then a drunk driver broadsided her car. Before the paramedics arrived, Jason walked out of the mist.

"It's time Teri, are you ready?"

"Will we be together forever?"

He took her hand and they walked away from a crash with no survivors.

100 words

Yolanda Renée © 2015

~~~~~

Link via the blue frog!

This November I'm doing NaNoWriMo. 

If you want to connect 

click here --> Yolanda Renée

THE BEGINNING - NANO

This November I'm doing NaNoWriMo. 

If you want to connect 

click here --> Yolanda Renée

I'm working on my WIP - Dark Motives!

I'll still be blogging just not

as frequently as the last few months.

 I'll also be participating in the
Realms Faire Joust with M Pax 
as Lady Enigmatic.

Join the fun November 9 - 13, 2015

 I do hope you'll cheer me on!

The Halloween post winner 
where an excerpt from 
The Snowman
STONE'S MASTERPIECE
was shared
Stone's Masterpiece also made
THE HORROR PRESS
how awesome is that?

but the winner of the day is

Debbie D.

Via Random.org

their number was 5


CONGRATULATIONS DEBBIE!

I'll be sending you a copy of

Murder, Madness & Love
&
Memories of Murder

This is my inspiration for the 79 Word Challenge.
I understand today's post is the last post for this 
Challenge. I'm sad to see it end but thrilled that I made the last posting.
My piece is called

ANNIHILATION



Happy Nano - ing!

TRICK OR TREAT / SHARE A SCARE!

Brought to you by Patricia Lynne  

A Halloween Treat of Free Books!

&

Tasha & Sophie at Wittegen Press

Hosting the 

My Contribution to 
Share A Scare 

is a short excerpt from

my WIP
WARNING - graphic violence 

The Snowman

STONE'S MASTERPIECE

October 31

Stone tilted the autopsy table and locked it in place. Everything was in order.

His latest victim struggled against her restraints. "You don't have to do this," she cried. He loved how her voice wavered in her throat. Such a pretty throat.

"But I do,” Stone said. “I need your blood. I'm creating new colors for my latest masterpiece."

"I'll give you my blood." Her voice showed her growing panic.

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Stone smoothed the hair back from her face. "So lovely of you to offer," His phone alarmed. "Sorry, time's running short. So I'll just take what I want." He stuffed a hand towel into her gaping mouth and made his first cut. Then a second. Then a third and fourth. He was mesmerized by the colored tracks flowing down her arms and legs. He watched the tears streaming from her eyes and laughed. A pity tears were colorless.

Stone checked his watch. He hated being on a deadline. He raised his scalpel; saw its reflection in the pupil of her terror filled eyes. Her fear fed his ego. With no regret, he slit her throat in one smooth action. The blood spurted. "Damn it, that's what I get for rushing."

Despite the mess, his gaze never wavered. Her lifeblood gushed, her body slackened, and the light left her eyes as the crimson fluid flowed into the bucket under the table. Death took her in His arms.

The moment was captured in staccato clicks as Stone's trusty Nikon went through its paces.

*****

Stone added a cup of formaldehyde to the viscous mixture and stirred it vigorously. He dipped his brush into its freshness and began painting. Swirls, splattered droplets, and elongated drips soon filled the twelve by fourteen canvas. Joy rose up from his deepest being and a sense of satisfaction overwhelmed him. This creation would be his best. He was sure that with the addition of formaldehyde, the color wouldn't turn brown. The crimson he loved would be the star of his masterpiece, the hue that would leave art lovers and critics breathless.

*****

The morning was cold and Stone knew it would only get colder. He hated winter, dreaded the darkness, the extra thick clothing, the icy streets and biting winds. Stone loathed Alaska. He yearned for West Virginia, but his mother wouldn't hear of moving. She put her prestigious job, her friends, and the home she adored before her only son. She wasn't leaving, and without her support neither was he.

He grunted when he threw the body over his shoulder. "Damn, the dead weigh a ton," he moaned. Placing it on the bed of the truck, he slammed the tailgate. The sound pleased him, echoing as it did in the stillness.

The tide was out and the sound of waves - distant. He'd made sure the park was empty, and after cruising the streets for half an hour, he was certain the area was cop free. His police radio scanner told him all he needed to know—they were busy working a hit and run near Merrill Field. He grabbed his flashlight, but he knew the way to the dumpsite. He'd reconnoitered a week ago.

He placed her corpse carefully under the pine tree, covering her lower half with a garbage bag. He tucked it neatly under her legs so it wouldn't blow away, but showed just enough of her cute crena to entice. He placed her arms alongside her head, as though she were relaxing on the sand for the perfect tan. Her manicured fingers were placed just so and her head, he turned to the left then brushed her newly bleached hair neatly over her back. She looked like a sleeping doll. He took several pictures for his scrapbook. He didn't want to leave her. He popped a piece of spearmint gum while he admired his handiwork. Damn, I'm good.

He kneeled to caress her pure white skin, but a light on the road above the park startled him. Gathering his materials, he picked up a branch and with his makeshift broom, he cleared the area of any footprints. He left the way he'd entered.

When he arrived home at 7:00 AM, his mother was getting ready to leave for work.

"Hey Mom, told you I'd make it back before you left." Dropping his duffel bag and carefully wrapped canvas, he kissed her on the forehead.

"Two minutes more and you wouldn't have. You know I value punctuality." She cringed when he removed his jacket. "Where have you been? At a slaughterhouse?"

"Oh, sorry. Joey and I cleaned the moose he shot. I would have changed, but didn't take an extra shirt."

"Well, get that off and into the washer now! Cold rinse should get it out. Let it soak. Those jeans too. I might not be able to see blood but if it's on that shirt, it's on those jeans."

She kept chatting away while Stone stripped in the laundry room off the kitchen. Unashamed of being naked in front of his mother, he walked her to the door, dropping a big kiss on her cheek.

“Have a good day, Mommy,” he cooed.

She returned the kiss, smiling the rare smile she kept for him alone. “You’re a good boy, Stowy. You’ll always be Mommy’s good boy.”

He watched as she drove away, then grabbed his backpack and unique canvas. He hurried to the basement, his domain. In a secret room off his bedroom, he found the perfect spot on the wall for his latest masterpiece. Taking a container from his backpack, he covered his entire body with her blood. Stone pleasured himself twice, to the image of her final moment, before falling asleep wrapped in bear fur.

~~~ ~~~

2015 ©Yolanda Renée

My contribution to the 
Trick or Treat
Book Blog Hop

is my latest release
WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK
TALES OF HORROR & ROMANCE

NOW
FREE on Amazon 


All commenters will be entered into a drawing to receive a FREE eBook copy of 

MURDER, MADNESS & LOVE

and an eBook copy of

MEMORIES OF MURDER

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The winner will be announced at midnight on October 31st!

And the winner is

Debbie D.

Congratulations!