HOLIDAY DISPLAYS

I'm truly pleased to welcome L G Keltner to my blog today to discuss her latest release and the all time holiday favorite 'outdoor lighting display.'

Take it away, L G!

I’d like to thank Yolanda for letting me stop by to promote my novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

To get you all in the mood for some holiday fun, I’d like to celebrate outdoor lighting displays.  Most people keep them to a reasonable level, but we’ve all encountered the people who go a bit overboard.  You may even be that person.  I’ve compiled a short list of signs that may indicate that you’ve gone a bit too crazy with the holiday illumination.

#1-Planes keep trying to land in your backyard.

#2-There’s been a sharp increase in the number of car accidents outside your home, and they’ve been caused by sudden-onset blindness or distracted driving.

#3-Angry neighbors have been stealing or vandalizing your decorations.

#4-Family members and friends no longer wish to be seen at your house.

#5-News crews show up to document your lighting display.

Do you put up outdoor lighting displays?  Do you like your displays to be subtle, or do you like going all out?

Now I hope you enjoy a brief snippet from Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

*     *     *

“Don’t blame yourself for this mess.  Other people’s issues are responsible for way more of it than you could possibly be.”

I laughed.  “You have to say that.”

“No, I don’t.  You can’t punch me through the phone.”

Then we were both laughing.  It was nice.  This felt normal, and it took some of the pressure off.

*      *     *

Blurb:

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.

 * * * 

  

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

Purchase Links:

Amazon

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

Kobo

CreateSpace

Add it on Goodreads

a Rafflecopter giveaway

TAKING OVER THE WORLD

Welcome to another awesome Monday! 

Today, I am hosting L G Keltner's cover reveal for her upcoming release 

HOW I LEARNED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD THROUGH TOLERATING MY FAMILY. 

A novella to be released on 

December 1, 2015 

Just in time for Christmas!

Blurb:

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.

Bio:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family

Author: L.G. Keltner

Genre: Holiday/Humor

Length: 27,000

Cover Art: L.G. Keltner

Release Date: December 1, 2015

Pre-Order Links:

Amazon

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

Kobo

Add it onGoodreads

*****************************************

I hope you're all ready for the M. Pax's annual

REALMS FAIRE

Today is the first day!

Riddle Me This ~ Dueling Bards ~ Phasers ~ Unicorn Hunt ~ Who Roams Here? ~ Beware the Vortex ~ VelociRaffle ~ The Hero’s Dilemma ~Stockade Brigade ~ Hall of Doors ~ The Joust ~ Drench-a-Wench/Soak-a-Bloke

I'll be fighting it out as

Lady Enigmatic in The Joust hosted M. Pax

I hope you'll come along and cheer me on!
Even though my Joust isn't until tomorrow
Please mention me today, and everyday 
to help me win The Joust
and earn a chance to win your own prize!

My magic words are:

Lady Enigmatic

Murder

Cutpurse (means thief) 

I earn points when you use these magic words 

to cheer me on in your comments on the Joust page and you're placed in a drawing to win a prize that day.

Such as!

Lady Enigmatic has an amazing story about a cutpurse involved in murder.

or

Lady Enigmatic solves murder mysteries but she'll easily play the cutpurse to win this Joust.

or

Lady Enigmatic is rumored to have been a former Cutpurse and may have committed murder.

Just copy and paste!

All commenters on this page, and who use these magic words on the Joust Page will be entered into a drawing to win a

$5 Amazon gift card.

Winners will be announced at midnight each day until the Joust is over. 

There's a new winner every day! 

Right here on my blog too!

The more times you comment using the magic words the more entries you'll have!

Plus, M Pax is giving away prizes too!

Hosted by MPax. 

Prizes for the winning knight. 

Prizes drawn daily for the crowd.

Up to 10 knights can joust. Each will battle daily. Magic words will be granted to each knight to pass out to their adoring fans. Knights score points by commenters using their magic words. Knight with the most points at the end of the week wins. What does the knight win? A year of promo on my blog in the slider and a tumbler printed with your championship boasts and badge (SEE HERE).

Winners are drawn daily from the adoring crowds.

Each cheerer may cheer 3x a day!
Each time they cheer, they'll be put into the daily drawing for prizes.
Both on M Pax's Joust page - and here !

Please check it out!

&

From November 9 - 16 & in honor of 

Lady Enigmatic - Yolanda Renee's

 crime thriller mystery Murder, Madness and

 Love is on ‪sale‬ for ‪99 Cents‬!

---

Murder, Madness and Love

Sunlight blazes on an empty canvas.

Arctic winds gather snowflakes on a frosty window ledge as a statuesque form appears. She moves past a table littered with papers. Headlines splash news of murder, but it’s the photo of another young woman with features mirroring her own that draws her attention.

A different headline peeks from underneath the Anchorage Times.

Wealthy Businessman Dies in Car Crash … BLACK WIDOW SUSPECTED!

Graphic images swirl through her head and a tear rolls down her cheek. She drifts toward an easel and a trembling hand dips a sable brush into a palette of paint.

The Westminster doorbell chimes. The brush slips and blood-red paint stains the floor.

Detective Steven Quaid waits. His Tlingit, Indian features carved from granite, mask his Irish passion …

Will he arrest her this time?

All fingers point to her guilt.

But, is she guilty of this cunning plot? Or just a victim of circumstantial evidence?

The door opens …

His eyes lock on hers …

His heart races …

Hers skips a beat.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | Goodreads

And even more exciting news via:

Katie Hamstead Teller

called

The Winner of the $5 Amazon Gift Card & an eBook copy of both Murder Mysteries
Murder, Madness & Love 
and 
Memories of Murder

for Monday is

Sia McKye

CONGRATULATIONS!

(All gift cards will be issued after the Faire)

DEAD GIRL RUNNING

COVER REVEAL

Dead Girl Running 

is a Young Adult/New Adult Crossover Dystopian, and a cross between 

The Giver, The Handmaiden's Tale, and Agenda 21.

In case you can't read the small print, 

here's the Back Cover Blurb:

Eight years ago, SILVIA WOOD's father died in an industrial accident. After suffering through years of Psychotherapy Services and Mandated Medications for depression and multiple suicide attempts, she longs to work in Botanical Sciences. When the Occupation Exam determines she must work in Mortuary Sciences instead, she wonders if the New Order assigned her to the morgue to push her over the edge.

To appease her disappointed mother, Silvia enters the Race for Citizen Glory, in an attempt to stand out in the crowd of Equals. After she begins training with "golden boy" LIAM HARMAN, she discovers he also lost his father in the same accident that ruined her childhood. Then Silvia meets and falls for Liam's older cousin, whose paranoid intensity makes her question what really happened to her father. As the race nears, Silvia realizes that she's not only running for glory, she's running for her life.

Scheduled release date: October 26th, 2015

Want to reserve a copy? 

Here's a PRE-PURCHASE LINK

Interested in Meeting the Author?

Just kidding, here she is - Meet Ann M. Noser

My to-do list dictates that I attempt to cram forty-eight hours of living into a day instead of the usual twenty-four.  I’ve chosen a life filled with animals.  I train for marathons with my dog, then go to work as a small animal veterinarian, and finish the day by tripping over my pets as I attempt to convince my two unruly children that YES, it really IS time for bed.  But I can’t wait until the house is quiet to write; I have to steal moments throughout the day.  Ten minutes here, a half hour there, I live within my imagination.

Like all busy American mothers, I multi-task.  I work out plot holes during runs.  Instead of meditating, I type madly during yoga stretches.  I find inspiration in everyday things: an NPR program, a beautiful smile, or a newspaper article on a political theory.

I’d love to have more time to write (and run, read, and sleep), but until I find Hermione Granger’s time turner, I will juggle real life with the half-written stories in my head.  Main characters and plot lines intertwine in my cranium, and I need to let my writing weave the tales on paper so I can find out what happens next.

Where to find Ann:

BLOG

FACEBOOK PAGE

TWITTER

GOODREADS

*****

The Winners of the 

WEP Spectacular Settings Challenge 

have been announced!

Please add your congratulations!

1st place winner - Elephants Child

2nd place - L. G. Keltner

3rd place - Samantha Redstreak Geary

A SILENT SOLILOQUY

It is my honor to introduce to you a talented science fiction writer and today she's sharing her work. Now this is Flash Fiction!

Take it away L. G. Keltner!

Before I begin, I’d like to thank Yolanda Renee for letting me stop by her blog today!  I have for all of you a piece of flash fiction related to A Silent Soliloquy.  It portrays the first time that our narrator meets David.

*   *   *

The sun seems particularly bright today.  Then again, that probably has a lot to do with the fact that we spent most of the last week infiltrating an anti-government militia that took up residence in the deep woods.  Only hints of sunshine made it all the way to the ground, and few unburned bits of the bodies TIPPIE left behind won’t likely be discovered for decades to come.

The coffee shop is full of upper-tier business people on lunch break.  Suits, briefcases, and mindless chatter fill the space.  The strong aroma of dark roast and fresh cinnamon rolls mingle in the air.  Much as I wish such things meant as little to me as they do to TIPPIE, they actually lure me like a kid to a candy store.

Our business here isn’t inside the establishment.  The tattered, dirty clothes TIPPIE donned for this would only get us kicked out anyway.  Instead, we’re leaning against a lamppost beside the open door.  Someone might still call the authorities about the apparent loitering, but if all goes according to plan, we won’t be here for long.

TIPPIE casually examines the ratty sneakers on our feet for a few moments before raising our head to scan the crowd again.  Adrift amongst the sea of pressed slacks and manicures, his dark, disheveled hair and torn jeans make him stand out like a beacon in the night.  Our eyes focus on him as TIPPIE begins her scrutiny.  His steps are hurried.  He must know that standing still for too long makes him a target.

As he gets closer, his gaze focuses on us, and I notice that his irises are the same green as the cheap shamrocks lower-tier eating establishments bring out for St. Patrick’s Day.  Regardless of the fact that TIPPIE has never seen a photo of him, there’s no doubt that he’s the one we’re here to meet.  He doesn’t slow as he approaches, but instead brushes a hand across our shoulder as he passes.  TIPPIE takes the cue and easily falls into step beside him.

Once we’re free of the knot of upper-tier patrons, he says in a hushed tone, “I’m David.”

“I’m Tippie.”  The reply comes out just as quietly, and there’s a shy quality to it that’s meant to be disarming.

David must think so, because he responds with a smile.

*   *   *

Title: A Silent Soliloquy

Author: L.G. Keltner

Genre: Science Fiction/Dystopian

Length: 28,000 words

Cover Art: Devross

Release Date: July 6th, 2015

Blurb:

TIPPIE was created to be a weapon.  By all appearances, she's an ordinary girl of 18, and she uses that to her advantage in her work for The Facility.  What no one sees is that there's another girl buried deep inside.  She can't speak or control the movements of the body she inhabits.  As TIPPIE's silent passenger, she can only observe.  She uses the details she learns from TIPPIE's work to reconstruct the stories of other people's lives.  It helps her feel a little more connected to the world she can only watch.

When TIPPIE's work leads her to David, a young man with a haunted past and information that The Facility wants, TIPPIE uses her skills to earn his trust.  The silent girl beneath the surface knows that TIPPIE is only going to hurt him, but she can't help but feel for him.  Those feelings only grow, but she knows all too well that TIPPIE's work will soon come to an end.

Bio:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

Purchase Links:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Smashwords

Barnes & Noble

Kobo

You can also add it on Goodreads.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to know but not have the ability to respond? LG did.

So intriguing! Thank you L. G.!

ANOTHER STAR SHINES

Title: A Silent Soliloquy

Author: L.G. Keltner
Genre: Science Fiction/Dystopian
Length: 28,000 words
Cover Art: Devross
Release Date: July 6th, 2015

Blurb:

TIPPIE was created to be a weapon.  By all appearances, she's an ordinary girl of 18, and she uses that to her advantage in her work for The Facility.  What no one sees is that there's another girl buried deep inside.  She can't speak or control the movements of the body she inhabits.  As TIPPIE's silent passenger, she can only observe.  She uses the details she learns from TIPPIE's work to reconstruct the stories of other people's lives.  It helps her feel a little more connected to the world she can only watch.

When TIPPIE's work leads her to David, a young man with a haunted past and information that The Facility wants, TIPPIE uses her skills to earn his trust.  The silent girl beneath the surface knows that TIPPIE is only going to hurt him, but she can't help but feel for him.  Those feelings only grow, but she knows all too well that TIPPIE's work will soon come to an end.
 

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

Pre-Order Links:

Amazon US
Amazon UK

Congratulations L. G.!