Wednesday, January 22, 2020

TO PUBLISH OR NOT TO PUBLISH


THAT WAS THE QUESTION





Writing Murder, Just Because  was not easy. Being in the mind of a serial killer is something I don’t ever want to tackle again. But I did my best to follow through to where my character took me. Many times, I thought of just finishing it and putting it in a drawer. It didn’t need to see the light of day, but an author I trust, read it and said it was some of my best work. So, despite my own doubts about the subject matter, and maybe due to my own vanity, I went to publication.

Still, I was afraid of what the story said about me?

I didn’t want to identify with or be identified with the character of Stowy Jenkins, on any level. Or else I wanted plausible deniability.

And yet truth be told, as most writers know or believe, all characters are part of the author, and despite my dislike of Stowy Jenkins, I have to admit that while Stowy is a complete fabrication, the story itself comes from a very personal place. 

Despite his murderous personality, Stowy Jenkins grew out of my mind, and I can only place his creation to a darker side of my life. I was a victim of violence, and not once but several times.  I’ve spoken of this before, so I won’t go into detail. I’ll just acknowledge it as part of my life and admit those experiences had more influence on my life and many of my decisions. More so than I care to admit, but it also influences my writing. 

But this time I'm the one in control. I wrote the horror, but I also wrote a love story and a tale where despite the terror, it's love and goodness that wins out. A happy ending. We're all looking for that in life. I find it in my writing.

Another reason I hesitated to publish was due to the response to The Snowman, the first book where Stowy Jenkins, my antagonist, appeared. After the publication of that book, I received many questions and rebukes from other authors who couldn’t understand how I could write such a book. And all I could think was: if a man had written this subject matter, there would be no questions. No surprise. No, “OMG, what were you thinking.”

What was I thinking? Maybe that I don't like being the victim but I am, I was, and sometimes I question how one person (me) could be so dumb. Yes, that’s how I feel. I mean fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. But fool me three times, damn girl, wake up! Yes, I still question, how could I let this happen?

I know that kind thinking is all wrong, but the problem with common sense when emotions are involved, well, there is no logic. And even though it’s been years since the abuse happened, the emotional part of me still finds those questions unanswerable.

While some can’t understand how or why I wrote The Snowman or Murder, Just Because I won’t apologize.

Sexual violence happens daily, hourly! It happens to children and adults alike. When a man kidnaps a young woman and rapes her, it’s not to make love to her, it’s to abuse, violate, and destroy. There is nothing pretty or ‘comfortable’ about it.

These two books are very different from the first three, but these books are a part of me, a truth I’ve known, and for me, a way to survive the un-survivable.
****

Where do your characters originate?



Please, if child abuse or sexual violence is an issue for you or someone you know, please contact the. National Sexual Violence Resource Center - http://www.nsvrc.org/




2101 N Front Street
Governor’s Plaza North, Building #2
Harrisburg, PA 17110

717.909.0710 Phone
717.909.0714 FAX
717.909.0715 TTY
877.739.3895 Toll-Free


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If you'd like to be part of my book tour or simply read the novel and write an honest review, please let me or Mason Canyon know.

Thank you!


Learn more about Stowy Jenkins on my other blog - Murderous Imaginings

THE ENVIRONMENT OR THE GENES




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Monday, January 20, 2020

Hosts and or Reviews Needed!

Yolanda Renée © 2020
 
     I’ve been away from blog posting for way too long. I’m finding it hard to get back to it. I miss everyone, but boy did I enjoy exploring my new world, Myrtle Beach, there’s a lot to discover. Plus, we remodeled a new condo, which took up most of the last year.

     Still, there’s something to be said for participating on a regular basis. Especially for keeping up with all the friends I’ve made in the last ten years. I feel as though I’ve lost a lot in that regard, personal successes, new releases, and just news with regards to writing, marketing, and publishing.        Every once in a while, I would check in on Facebook. But what a cesspool of ads for everything I don’t want or need and the political garbage is just too much.

     I wanted to delete my FB account but haven’t due to contact with the readers and potential readers. Staying away does nothing to help with my already lousy social networking skills. Getting myself out of ‘shy writer’ mode is sometimes almost impossible. Especially when it takes so much to sell just one book. For a while, I thought I’d just keep writing and forego that, but I’ve never been a quitter. So here I go again!

      I’d hoped to start right away in January, but illness hit, and it slowed me down. But no more excuses! No more procrastination, it’s time to get started!

      I’m posting an excerpt from Murder, Just Because which is out now, and I have a book tour scheduled for April. If you’re interested in hosting please let me or Mason Canyon know, she’s the organizer. As I’ve said before it’s a violent story, but it’s a great read! Honest!


Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy the excerpt I’ve posted.







“This is where they landed,” Sky said. “Their chutes were hidden in the rocks, but for whatever reason, they didn’t bother hiding the evidence of their stay here.”

         Helen collected samples from two piles of human waste. “If nothing else, this shit will prove once and for all that Jenkins is alive.”

         Brent laughed. He looked at the piles and said. “I’m hoping it’s bear scat. The bear ate the bastard, then had tummy problems.”

         “If only,” Steven said and chuckled too.

         Helen, sick to her stomach for the job she had to do, didn’t find the conversation the least funny.

***

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Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Welcome 2020



This is your opportunity!

Yolanda Renée © January 1, 2020




“Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but the ability to start over."
F. Scott Fitzgerald