SON OF A PITCH ROUND II

Starting today, published authors will give feedback on the query's and first 250 words.

The judges will vote for their favorites to go onto the final round.

They will cast five votes each, anywhere they want, and the top 20 will go onto the next round.

Visitors are welcome to comment on this lead in blog but not the individual blogs!

Votes will close on Thursday 11:59 p.m. MST.

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

Our hostess Katie Hamstead Teller

The Judges
Ayden Morgen
Elsie Elmore
Leigh Statham
Mara Valderran
Stacy Nash
Elisabeth Roderick
Samantha Bryant
&
Me!

The entries I'm hosting are posted individually by title - just click the link!

Adult

His Soul Purpose

Buried

Darkest Rendezvous

Forbidden

Coded For Murder

And I Remembered

Venom

Skipping Stones And The Silver Strike

Martins Wings

Handsome Is As Handsome Does

And to make it easier to get to all the entries 

Here they are by catagory!

Young Adult:

Elsie Elmore's Blog:

The Quester

The Last Dreamer

Starboard

The Glass Sister

Hunter

Lost in Transition

Supernova Fall, Supernova Fly

Illusion

The School

Caster's Flame

Quantum Fairytales Blog:

When Planets Fall

Quantum

Bellamy of the Ball

The Time Slave

The Blood Barrier

The Stained Glass Son and Moon

Neodymium Exodus

The Pendragon's Son

Shadow of a Soul

Status: Positive

Samantha's Blog:

The Witch of Belle Fleur

New Adult:

Ayden's Blog:

Her Knight, His Princess

Jake Whittaker, PI

Traditor

The Collective

Soul Gifter

Raker

No Halo

Across Jaspen Bay

Adult:

Ayden's Blog:

Tides of Magic

Samantha's Blog:

A Touch of Heaven

The Aldar Dominion

The Proxy Initiative

Second-Self

Always the Moon

Standing the Final Watch

Settle the Score

Bail Up

My Soul to Give

Enjoy!

And don't forget to offer helpful advice for your favorites HERE and only HERE!

His Soul Purpose

Title: HIS SOUL PURPOSE

Category and Genre: Adult paranormal romance

Word Count: 90,000

Query:

Byron enjoys his damned existence as a vampire until the night he attacks a young twentysomething with a gold cross around her neck. She stirs memories of when he had been human so long ago, and a pang of guilt prevents him from hurting her.

Although red belt librarian Grace is frightened of the vampire, she thinks his act of conscience might mean he isn't damned after all. After another vampire attacks them and destroys the library, Grace convinces Byron he is worth redemption.

The quest for Byron's soul leads them to uncover an ancient conspiracy to keep vampires damned forever—and brings them far closer than either intended.

While rejoining Byron and his soul may save him, it may also kill him.

First 250 Words

Byron curled back his upper lip. "You've displeased me for the last time."

"I'm… I'm sorry. Please." The man backed up, hands raised defensively. As if he could defend himself from Byron. "Please, give me another chance."

He circled around the pathetic man. Illumination from candles flickered against the white walls of his office. Byron never did care for artificial lighting. "Against my better judgment, I already did. Twice. A third chance to wrong me just wouldn't be prudent."

"But… my family…"

Byron held up the faux gemstone. "You think I wouldn't realize it was a fraud?"

"N-no… I never meant… My contact assured me—"

"Your whining grates me." The gemstone ground to red dust in his hand. He opened his fist, allowing the specks to filter to the hardwood floor.

"Please, I can find you—"

"You will do nothing for me."

Byron snatched the man's neck, lifting him a foot above the ground. His hold tightened, the man's eyes bulging, his attempts at fighting growing more pathetic with every passing second until he slumped over.

"You will do nothing for anyone."

He dropped the man onto the floor, on top of the ground stone. Clapping the remnants of red from his hand, Byron stepped over the body and left the office behind. He could have, and perhaps should have fed on the man. Even now, his thirst grew, a pulsating need that could not be denied much longer. Recovering the Ruby Heart could wait. 

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.

Buried

Title: BURIED

Category and Genre: Adult Science Fiction

Word Count: 120,000

Query

Mike and Sam must save the world from a time loop, but they only want to save each other--and that's what's causing the loop.

After his boyfriend Sam is killed in a car crash, soldier-turned-copper Mike Scott buries himself in investigating a modern body that's been dug up at an undisturbed sixteenth-century site. But his investigation leads him back to Sam's death, and the existence of a time machine Sam 'forgot' to tell him about. The attraction the machine held for TV historian Sam is obvious. But Mike's more used to burying the past than revisiting it.

Once Mike finds the machine, however, it offers more adventure than he's had since quitting the army: A trip to Tudor England. A way to save Sam. Mike will gladly give his life for Sam's, but, after a few trips round the loop, he realises they've been there, done that. By using the machine to change the past, he and Sam have trapped everyone in a time loop that endlessly repeats.

The time machine can't be resisted and it can't be destroyed. Unless Mike can find a solution in his own past, the only way out is for one of them to die. And stay dead.

First 250 words

The day my mother sat us boys down and told us Dad had gone to live with a new family, I thought it was one of those things adults say when they don't want to deal with the truth. Not 'Your dad's dead' but 'Your dad's gone to live with a new family where he can have lots of room to run about'.
It was exactly like that when Sam died.

#

I was sitting at my desk in CID moving some bits of paper about. Nobody in the office to overhear. I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial.

Not that I wasn't a little annoyed Sam hadn't rung me. Not this morning. Not the night before. Not since he'd slammed out of the house and gone to stay with his mother.

His visit to his mother being what we'd argued about.

Someone other than Sam answered the phone. I knew that the moment they drew in their breath to speak.

"Who's this?" I said. "I want Sam Ferrier."

"This is Police Constable Sheila Warren. Who am I speaking to, please?"

"My name's Mike Scott. I want to speak to Sam."

Stacking papers on my desk so I didn't have to think about why a PC was answering his phone.

"Are you a relative of Mr Ferrier's?"

Jesus, I'd never expected to be on the receiving end of a death message. "Look, has something happened? What's happened to him?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't release any details until the family have been informed."

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.

Darkest Rendezvous

Title: Darkest Rendezvous

Age and Genre: Adult Historical Paranormal Romance

Word Count: 50,000

 Query:

Set in alternate 19th century New York, Darkest Rendezvous is the tale of ethereal beauty, Miss Persephone Greaves, who is caught up in a rivalrous love triangle between a wicked Vampyre Count, a roguish Lycanthrope Chieftain and the miserly ghoul next door as she becomes key to a plot by renegade humans to destroy her world.

Count Nicodemus von Shroud, the newest lord of Manor Sanguine Ligurio, is as handsome as he is wealthy and has the eye of every eligible lady of New York's Famous Four Hundred but his heart belongs to the enchanting Miss Persephone Greaves. However, Miss Greaves is a Zombi, a civilized class of zombie recently elevated to the nethermost circles of the necroelite and though she is the daughter of a highly esteemed physician, she is still considered beneath the touch of the most powerful Vampyre clan in America.

Mr. Rufus Bane, chief of the Lupis Tribe, has also taken notice of the delectable Miss Greaves at Nightshade Manor’s latest Moonlight Ball and refuses to concede to his Vampyre rival for the lady’s affections despite her impending engagement to ominous Ghoul, Lord Lucius Newmont. However, insurrections and assassination attempts by Rufus’ fellow Lycanthropes may prove slightly distracting.

Miss Persephone Greaves’ first season is a bigger success than she could have ever dreamed. Resigned to spend eternity as bride to ominous Lord Lucius Newmont, her phenomenal beauty and charm seem to overcome the age old stigma her kind face for atrocities past, garnering ringing approval from New York’s famous Four Hundred. Against warnings from friends and the wishes of her father, Persephone finds herself falling for both the intense werewolf whose kisses set her body aflame and a seductive Vampyre whose gaze sends her mind reeling with wicked dreams.

While Persephone tries to decide her course of action, a mysterious illness starts killing human slaves, Lycanthrope tribesmen and the oldest and weakest members of the necroelite. When Persephone is poisoned, Rufus and Nicodemus uncover a plot to destroy the nation’s undead and must work together to expose betrayals and save their beloved.

First 250 Words

Persephone Greaves stood in the dimly lit hallway and watched as the slaves lumbered by. Even in the mindless state in which the undead allowed them to exist, Persephone didn’t trust humans. Everything about them from the way their grey skin hung loosely from their bones and gaping mouths to the milky unseeing eyes that always seem to be watching, waiting for something made her uneasy. Persephone wished her father would finish his examination of the Newmonts’ kitchen slave who had suddenly fallen ill so they could quit this place. Of course she didn’t have to hover in the slave quarters. Lucius Newmont was in his study but would gladly keep Persephone company in the parlor.

The Ghoul was ten years Persephone’s senior and even as a lanky youth, Lucius had been very serious and solemn. The Newmonts had lost their parents towards the end of the 1812 Uprising, before the humans’ defeat, and at 14 years of age Lucius took the responsibility of his and his sister’s welfare on to his ossified shoulders. Being business partners as well as neighbors, Dr. Sebastian Greaves assisted Captain Newmont’s children as often as Lucius would allow and so became like an extended family. Dr. Greaves would, on occasion, allude to a match between Persephone and Lucius but she simply was not interested.

Repulsive as Ghouls were, the Newmont siblings always made the effort to be fashionable. Lucius was tall, slender and always well dressed. 

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.

Forbidden

Title: Forbidden

Age and Genre: Adult, Crime / Suspense / Romance

Word Count: 100,000

Query:

Forbidden will grab and hurl you into a plot full of treachery and passion.
  

Screams of terror and gunfire echo within the walls of a compound. The horrific massacre of fifteen Americans forces two government officers of The Republic of Islamic Provinces and Territories to cover-up the truth. They thrust the task into the hands of a ruthless police captain, Hashim Sharif. His corrupt superiors’ rules are simple. Maintain silence, or his family will suffer dire consequences.

He cannot bear lowering his ethics to become the same gutter vermin he hunts in Samarra’s dark streets. And yet, if his loyalty is questioned, an unmarked grave awaits him in the desert. He fears justice may never be served. Even so, he cannot commit an act most forbidden – treason. His family’s honor would be forever lost.

Within a week, his nightmare plunges into a bottomless pit. To maintain the cover-up, he must dispose of the one witness – Eliza MacKay. Murder of innocents?

Unthinkable.He keeps her out of sight inside his apartment, risking the wrath of Allah. While searching for evidence of the killer’s identity, Sharif and MacKay struggle to survive. Hit men, the CIA, and his government have them in their cross hairs. When his children are kidnapped, Sharif becomes the beast his enemies dread.

Sharif and MacKay dodge traps and their mutual attraction. Given her PTSD, he cannot trust her. A strangle hold over his desires for the pretty woman becomes his greatest challenge. If escape is possible, love will only get in the way. Or will it save them?

Target Audience: This crime, suspense romance novel will be enjoyed by readers who favor espionage novels with international intrigue, and multi-cultural themes.

Forbidden’s twisting plot and fully fleshed out characters are unforgettable. Other target audiences will include Muslims and those interested in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Muslims will appreciate the accuracy of the references to moderate Islam. 

First 250 Words

Bird With a Broken Wing

Eliza fidgeted with her hijab. Excited Arabic voices echoed throughout Samarra’s busy airport. The arrivals terminal barely contained the hundreds of visitors waiting for the arrival of the next flight.

She stared at the airport arrivals app on her cell phone.  ‘United Air 719 – DELAYED’.Friggin’ hell, they’re an hour late. As she gazed at ‘DELAYED’, a vision blocked out the surrounding clamor. Screams, bloodied bodies, and flames in a dark void engulfed her with waves of horror. Her hand shot up to her mouth, barely containing a shriek. Stop it, just friggin’ stop it! The premonition urged her to run. Get out of RIPT on the next plane.

“Breathe,” she whispered. She inhaled and exhaled with calm deliberation. “Again.” She shivered as the graphic scene faded. Thank God I can control these annoying visions. Whoever said that being a seer is a gift was delusional. Now, if I could manage my PTSD psychosis as easily, I might get my life back.

Her feet ached from wandering through the airport shops for the last five hours. “It’s almost nine. The airport will be closed in another two hours. What the hell happened to the Americans? A man rushing by bumped into her and nearly tripped over her suitcase. He turned toward her and glared.

“Laanah aleiky,” he growled in Arabic.

She squared her shoulders and turned away. Damn you, too. She adjusted her head scarf and smiled confidently at nearby women. 

They stepped away from her.

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.

Coded For Murder

Title: Coded For Murder

Age and Genre: Adult, Thriller/Mystery

Word Count: 70 000

Query:

The leaders of a tech startup are serially tortured, poisoned and bludgeoned to death, propelling a scarred detective into a three-day chase among Montréal’s cafés, hipsters, and geeks to stop a killer from striking again.

Three years after the death of his wife and son (for which he is partly responsible), Chief Inspector Derek JAMES of the Service de police de la Ville de Montréal has accepted his physical and emotional scars and lives for the thrill of his next case. But the investigation is complicated by his boss trying to kill him, and the need to protect the twelve-year-old psychiatric patient who witnessed the murder. Plus, the startup’s CEO won’t let anything get in the way of her selling the company. With two more attacks occurring within twenty-four hours, James must race to the finish to catch the murderer.

First 250 Words

CHAPTER ONE

April 2, 6:50 am

“Strung up by the river? Without a face?”

Chief Inspector Derek James of the Service de Police de la Ville de Montréal tucked his cold hands into his pockets and looked up. A rope looped over the middle branch of an oak in the urban beach park. Above him hung a body with an exposed skull, framed by sparse hair on top, ears on either side, and a wrinkly neck puckered in a noose. The face was stripped to the bone with eroded teeth set in a perpetual grin as if the skull were enjoying a joke at everyone’s expense.

James’s gut tightened, but he stilled the reaction in an instant, regaining his calm.

“I’m sure we’re thinking the same thing, Derek.”  Forensic Pathologist John Seymour exercised professional restraint, but his eyes were bright and keen. “What could this poor guy have done to deserve this?”

James took his time responding. Dawn cast a blue light on the water and snow. A damp cold sank through his coat and into his bones. It was amazing how the usually peaceful beach park took on a menacing air: the St. Lawrence River choppier than usual, swirls of sand and snow rolling like tumbleweeds, the sky heavy and low. But a children’s playground lay behind the hanging body, and its red swings, bright yellow slide, and empty wading pool anchored the mind in a comforting reality.

“What can you tell me, Doctor?”

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.

And I Remembered

Title: And I Remembered

Age and Genre: Adult contemporary

Word Count: 80,000

Query:

Miami is a light, carefree, airy place where Elisabeth believes she has found herself, and found someone else. She believed she had found the best life and the best love in Jamie, a single 23-year-old from Canada. The relationship is sweet and exciting, until Jamie turns dark, plagued by a concussion from a hockey accident and a subsequent addiction to cocaine. Then, she learns she is pregnant. Then, she suffers a miscarriage. Then, she has to leave.

Chicago is dark and lonely, a place where Elisabeth has to find herself, but ends up losing herself. She reunites with her best friend from college and finds a certain kinship with her coworker. However, two chance encounters with Jamie drive her to promiscuity and to a suicide attempt that she survives.

Pittsburgh is where she had to heal, and to figure out what direction she goes in, whether it’s teaching, writing or fighting for something she believes in.

First 250 Words

There was a point that night where I finally turned and walked away, into the darkness of the New Jersey night, away from the buildings and the anger. I just kept walking. With each step I went over what got me to this decrepit place in my life and to this decrepit place on the sea. The angst. The bad decisions. But as I kept walking, I got sadder, and sadder, thinking about how sweet and simple my time in Miami was less than five years ago. What brought me here? Was it losing a child? The drugs Jamie did? Leaving him and going to Chicago? I asked myself if I did the right thing by leaving. I asked myself that at least twice a week, but told myself that I had to find my own way.

As I walked the length of a pier above the churning Atlantic Ocean, I took inventory of what I lost. I lost my best friend. I hadn’t talked to my parents in weeks. I never told them what had happened in my life, what led me to where I screwed up everything and where I disappointed everyone – including myself.

Then, I remembered the person who told me that I was brave, that I was strong, that I was different … things I needed to hear.

But I lost Jamie, too. I lost him long before that night in New Jersey.

Did I have much else left to lose?

*****

Participants do not comment on other entrants' posts, only your own. You can bribe, coax, share, tweet, and do whatever to your entry, but you cannot comment on anyone else's.

The Judges

Ayden Morgen

Elsie Elmore

Leigh Statham

Mara Valderran

Stacy Nash

Elisabeth Roderick

Samantha Bryant

&

Me!

Visitors welcome!

Please comment as to whether this pitch piques your interest and what feedback you have about making it stronger.

Your assessments will be appreciated by the participants.