Thursday, October 31, 2013

A SPLATTERED HORROR

TRICK OR TREAT!


 My final victim
Mike Lombardo 
Mike is a writer, independent filmmaker, and FX artist.
His film company is
Reel Splatter Productions.
Mike appeared several times as a guest on my 
back in the day, and was always a favorite of the listeners.
Therefore he was given the prime slot for his 
Bwahahaha Halloween Interview
Halloween.

Oh, and just in case you're looking for
a little humor and a lot of fun
check out Penny and Patches
over on Gary Pennick's Blog
Klahanie! 
Gary promises something special around 9 EST!

Enjoy!

You're the last person to die in your favorite horror movie, what's the name of the movie and how do you die?
I am Bronson, a crazed Vietnam vet who rules a clan of sadistic homeless people who live in a junkyard. My head is knocked clean off my body by a large co2 tank that has its valve busted off by a young homeless kid I am trying to kill for no apparent reason. The movie is Street Trash.

In a remake of one of the Friday the 13th movies– you play Jason – what would be your method of execution for all your victims?
I would force them to sit through the horrid 2009 remake of Friday The 13th and let them realize that everything they loved as a child is being raped and rehashed again and again ad nauseum until they finally give in and stab out their own eyes with a screwdriver (which I may or may not provide).

In a remake of Halloween, you are one of the victims – describe the scene and your grizzly death.
Since it’s the remake, it would be a Rob Zombie movie so…We open with a series of flashy, annoyingly hyperactive cuts of old Halloween costumes in a shop. An ironic pop song is blaring as I am stalked through the dark aisles of the store by an ex WWF wrestler turned Michael Myers, utilizing famous and overused shots from every classic horror film in the last 30 years. I hide behind a row of costumes, thinking I’m safe. I listen and hear nothing, as I step out of my hiding place, the audience groans as Michael Myers appears behind me and they turn off the movie grumbling about how all horror flicks are the same.

In the Walking Dead, you and another character have survived the zombies, so far. You're on the move, but the individual with you is a wimpy scaredy cat, but oh so hot, still they keep drawing attention to you and your position and it's almost certain they will get you killed. What do you do - leave them for the zombies and save yourself? Or take pity on them, because their hotness makes up for their stupidity, and teach them not to be a wimp? Or do you have another solution.
I would flay them. What is left of their corpse can be used to distract the zombies, and their pelt can not only keep me warm but also help me satisfy any carnal urges this terrible new post apocalyptic world gives me.

You're headed to a Masquerade party as your favorite horror character and at midnight, you are transformed into your character until sunrise. Who is this character and how many victims would you claim by sunrise?
I am Henry, a sociopathic serial killer. I would only kill a few people, chosen entirely at random and utilizing completely different methods of execution and disposal to trick the authorities into believing the deaths were at the hands of several different people. Just before sunrise I would kill my pseudo love interest who also happens to be the one thing left that could possibly redeem my wretched soul. She confesses her love to me. I respond by leaving her dismembered carcass in a suitcase on the side of the interstate.

Share with us your scariest ghost story – or nightmare – or tell us what scares you the most and why.
I have a fear of murky water that is higher than knee deep. The idea of something lurking just beneath the surface of the water and not being able to see it is absolutely terrifying to me. Sea monsters are the coolest monsters.

Share with us your favorite Halloween experience, costume, and candy.
My favorite Halloween experience was in 2006. I did a huge Christmas set up outside of my house complete with stockings filled with still dripping severed legs and human skin ornaments dangling from barbed wire strands strung with Christmas lights. I sat in front of the house dressed as zombie Santa and sang Christmas songs to the children as they approached and asked them what they wanted for Christmas. The parents did not find this nearly as entertaining as I did and I got more than one irate family complaining about it. I also had several parents later tell me that their child is now afraid of Santa. This pleased me greatly as the idea of an omnipotent, voyeuristic being that breaks into your house one night a year to give children candy and toys scares the hell out of me. For some reason there is a strange recurrent theme of home invasion in modern holiday tradition.
The best candy is of course eyeball gum, let’s be serious here, everyone knows that.


Mike Lombardo is an independent filmmaker/FX artist. He also hates everything, except for stuff that rules of course. His film company, Reel Splatter Productions, aims to “put the laughter back in slaughter” and specializes in splatter/comedy. You should check them out at www.ReelSplatter.com and buy a copy of their DVD compilation of short films, “Suburban Holocaust: Reel Splatter volume 1” seriously, that would be awesome! 


His newest short, “The Stall” is scheduled for release this Halloween and is the tale of a young pizza shop employee who finds himself trapped in a bathroom stall during the Lovecraftian apocalypse.
When he is not splattering things with fake blood or making people’s pizzas at his day job, he occasionally writes short stories. You can find his absolutely disgusting horror/erotica story “Appetites” in Strange Sex published by StrangeHouse Books (www.StrangeHouseBooks.com) and his snarky and very nihilistic McDonald’s zombie apocalypse story, “Play Place” in Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang! Also by Strangehouse Books. His latest story, “I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday” will be appearing in the Christmas anthology, A Very StrangeHouse Christmas, published by you guessed it, StrangeHouse Books.  



The STALL is now up and live! http://youtu.be/sZDu8m4mUk


 ***** ***** *****
Mike is offering a CD of Suburban Holocaust and a copy of the poster art for The Stall in a giveaway. All you have to do is leave a comment and you'll be entered in the drawing, just be sure to leave contact information, like an email address!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!



                                                           


13 comments:

  1. Mike, let them find their own screwdriver.
    Glad I didn't hit your house for Halloween.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Alex, I agree! But if I'd been there would begged for one! LOL

      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  2. That is horror in and of itself, making them watch remakes haha

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    1. I agree Pat, I'd be fashioning my own screwdriver if I had to watch that! LOL

      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  3. I'm sad to see this series end, it's been such fun to read. Great job, Yolanda! And all of your guests as well.

    Loved Patches' adventure with Penny. They are a great team. Happy Halloween!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank Julie, Penny and Patches are great friends!

      The interview were a blast! Such different answers for each one!

      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  4. I love your series! I need to go back and see what I missed~ Wow-Mike, Zombie Santa....lol
    I love it~ I do imagine you did create many nightmares. My son use to spell the chubby elf's name as Satan Claus. We had a house we frequented that decorated in Freddie n' Jason style. He use to chase people around the yard. Yeah, lots of howling~ Mike you really brought it-I bet those kids are still talking about you every year aka Zombie Santa ;D Great job both of you~ Yolanda I love your voice!

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    Replies
    1. Ella, Would love to visited Zombie Santa! LOL And I agree something those kids won't forget!

      I forgot my voice - oh dear, I hate it, but took that accent test running around on the net and it said I had a good voice for radio - made me feel better! LOL

      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  5. I don't believe it. I just left a long, rambling comment and I got this oops an error thingy show up. I shall copy and paste this in case it happens again. Now I forgot what I wrote. Which means, I shall have to make mention I was listening to your talk show, y'all. Mike seems like quite the character and the interview was rather surreal.

    I shall check out all those green links. See the dude is on 'Farcebook', or as I call it, 'Farcebark'. Will check that out as well.

    I see you have a link in regards to that Patches, Penny story. I will check that out. I have been reliably informed that you have been leaving comments over there. Very kind of you, Yolanda, my human friend.

    Yes, I'm safely back in England. Happy Howloween to Patches and Happy Halloween to you and your loved ones.

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by Penny - I'm surprised you have the energy after that adventure. I tired to keep up with the comments on your site to help out - after all I was the reason for all the flying through the blogosphere! So many links and so little time! Happy Howloween, Penny, from Patches and Happy Halloween to Gary from me too!

      Delete
  6. That was a fabulous interview for Halloween! I loved your month of scary interviews, Yolanda. Have a great Halloween! And I love that you did the whole Christmas set-up, Mike. The concept of Santa is quite frightening. I do not think someone watching me as I'm sleeping is sweet or sexy.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Christine, I'm sad to see the month end! LOL

      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  7. Hey folks, I'm glad you enjoyed the interview! I have a strange fetish for twisting Christmas into something disturbing, not that its obviousfrom the interview or anything! Happy Halloween and thank you for having me as a guest again Renee!

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