A SPLATTERED HORROR

TRICK OR TREAT!

 My final victim
Mike Lombardo 
Mike is a writer, independent filmmaker, and FX artist.
His film company is
Reel Splatter Productions.
Mike appeared several times as a guest on my 

Blog Talk Radio Show 

back in the day, and was always a favorite of the listeners.

Therefore he was given the prime slot for his 
Bwahahaha Halloween Interview
Halloween.

Oh, and just in case you're looking for
a little humor and a lot of fun
check out Penny and Patches
over on Gary Pennick's Blog
Klahanie! 
Gary promises something special around 9 EST!

Enjoy!

You're the last person to die in your favorite horror movie, what's the name of the movie and how do you die?

I am Bronson, a crazed Vietnam vet who rules a clan of sadistic homeless people who live in a junkyard. My head is knocked clean off my body by a large co2 tank that has its valve busted off by a young homeless kid I am trying to kill for no apparent reason. The movie is Street Trash.

In a remake of one of the Friday the 13th movies– you play Jason – what would be your method of execution for all your victims?

I would force them to sit through the horrid 2009 remake of Friday The 13th and let them realize that everything they loved as a child is being raped and rehashed again and again ad nauseum until they finally give in and stab out their own eyes with a screwdriver (which I may or may not provide).

In a remake of Halloween, you are one of the victims – describe the scene and your grizzly death.

Since it’s the remake, it would be a Rob Zombie movie so…We open with a series of flashy, annoyingly hyperactive cuts of old Halloween costumes in a shop. An ironic pop song is blaring as I am stalked through the dark aisles of the store by an ex WWF wrestler turned Michael Myers, utilizing famous and overused shots from every classic horror film in the last 30 years. I hide behind a row of costumes, thinking I’m safe. I listen and hear nothing, as I step out of my hiding place, the audience groans as Michael Myers appears behind me and they turn off the movie grumbling about how all horror flicks are the same.

In the Walking Dead, you and another character have survived the zombies, so far. You're on the move, but the individual with you is a wimpy scaredy cat, but oh so hot, still they keep drawing attention to you and your position and it's almost certain they will get you killed. What do you do - leave them for the zombies and save yourself? Or take pity on them, because their hotness makes up for their stupidity, and teach them not to be a wimp? Or do you have another solution.

I would flay them. What is left of their corpse can be used to distract the zombies, and their pelt can not only keep me warm but also help me satisfy any carnal urges this terrible new post apocalyptic world gives me.

You're headed to a Masquerade party as your favorite horror character and at midnight, you are transformed into your character until sunrise. Who is this character and how many victims would you claim by sunrise?

I am Henry, a sociopathic serial killer. I would only kill a few people, chosen entirely at random and utilizing completely different methods of execution and disposal to trick the authorities into believing the deaths were at the hands of several different people. Just before sunrise I would kill my pseudo love interest who also happens to be the one thing left that could possibly redeem my wretched soul. She confesses her love to me. I respond by leaving her dismembered carcass in a suitcase on the side of the interstate.

Share with us your scariest ghost story – or nightmare – or tell us what scares you the most and why.

I have a fear of murky water that is higher than knee deep. The idea of something lurking just beneath the surface of the water and not being able to see it is absolutely terrifying to me. Sea monsters are the coolest monsters.

Share with us your favorite Halloween experience, costume, and candy.

My favorite Halloween experience was in 2006. I did a huge Christmas set up outside of my house complete with stockings filled with still dripping severed legs and human skin ornaments dangling from barbed wire strands strung with Christmas lights. I sat in front of the house dressed as zombie Santa and sang Christmas songs to the children as they approached and asked them what they wanted for Christmas. The parents did not find this nearly as entertaining as I did and I got more than one irate family complaining about it. I also had several parents later tell me that their child is now afraid of Santa. This pleased me greatly as the idea of an omnipotent, voyeuristic being that breaks into your house one night a year to give children candy and toys scares the hell out of me. For some reason there is a strange recurrent theme of home invasion in modern holiday tradition.

The best candy is of course eyeball gum, let’s be serious here, everyone knows that.

Mike Lombardo is an independent filmmaker/FX artist. He also hates everything, except for stuff that rules of course. His film company, Reel Splatter Productions, aims to “put the laughter back in slaughter” and specializes in splatter/comedy. You should check them out at www.ReelSplatter.com and buy a copy of their DVD compilation of short films, “Suburban Holocaust: Reel Splatter volume 1” seriously, that would be awesome! 


His newest short, “The Stall” is scheduled for release this Halloween and is the tale of a young pizza shop employee who finds himself trapped in a bathroom stall during the Lovecraftian apocalypse.

When he is not splattering things with fake blood or making people’s pizzas at his day job, he occasionally writes short stories. You can find his absolutely disgusting horror/erotica story “Appetites” in Strange Sex published by StrangeHouse Books (www.StrangeHouseBooks.com) and his snarky and very nihilistic McDonald’s zombie apocalypse story, “Play Place” in Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang! Also by Strangehouse Books. His latest story, “I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday” will be appearing in the Christmas anthology, A Very StrangeHouse Christmas, published by you guessed it, StrangeHouse Books.  

REEL SPLATTER PRODUCTIONS

MIKE LOMBARDO FACEBOOK

The STALL is now up and live! http://youtu.be/sZDu8m4mUk

 ***** ***** *****

Mike is offering a CD of Suburban Holocaust and a copy of the poster art for The Stall in a giveaway. All you have to do is leave a comment and you'll be entered in the drawing, just be sure to leave contact information, like an email address!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

                                                           

WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK

WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK

 Tales of Horror & Romance

A tale of two covers

Old and New

WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK

TALES OF HORROR & ROMANCE

When Zombies Attack is a collection of short stories, flash fiction, and poetry with over thirty individual pieces. Starting with zombies and ending with a flesh eater. There is horror, romance, murder, and mystery, a little for every reader.

•   Can a survivalist survive a zombie hoard?
•   Can an angel in training beat the Devil?
•    Would you voluntarily jump into the fires of hell?
•    Is murder ever forgivable?
•    Will love finally triumph over death!
•    On Halloween night, a sexy witch gets more than she planned for.

When Zombies Attack is a fun romp through all things forbidden, love with a touch of horror, and all those things that scare us!

Excerpt: When Zombies Attack

“What are you doing?” Mike asked as he came through the living room rubbing his hair dry with a towel.

“Reading this book. Jonathan Maberry’s latest novel, Zombie CSU the Forensics of the Living Dead.

“You’re kidding. I thought you found the subject boring”

“I do. How can you read this drivel? He interviews the world’s top authorities on how to survive a zombie attack – as though there will ever be such a thing. And people like you read it. You need to grow up Mike, really!”

“Angie, Angie, Angie.” Mike shook his head and rolled his eyes. “They’ve proven zombies exist – voodoo rituals and all – so they do exist.”

“Drug induced maybe – but none of them have ever eaten a human being!”

Mike sat down on the couch next to her. He kissed her lightly on the forehead. “Okay so maybe it is a little juvenile, but it’s a hobby, besides you collect guns and call yourself a survivalist. What are you getting ready for World War III?”

Angie threw her arms around his neck. “Touché, we’re even. I’m a survivalist and you’re a zombie hunter. We’ll call it even. I will admit the book is well written. It caught my attention because of the survivalist mentality of it.”

She kissed him soundly. “Have you finished it?”

“No, I just got it. I'm not a voracious reader like you.”

“Well, the best arsenal against them is the gun. Shoot them in the head, besides they move slow enough – it shouldn’t be that difficult to survive an attack.”

Mike smiled broadly. “Now that’s what I like to hear. I’m going to Lancaster tonight. Gary and the guys are having a beer, zombie fest. We’re watching NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. Why don’t you join us, it should be fun!”

“No, you go ahead. If it weren’t for the farting contest you guys get into, I might have considered it.”

He laughed. “I can ask them to forgo the contest.”

“And ruin their chance to embarrass me, I don’t think so. They would agree until they got drunk and then any promise would be out the window. No thanks.”

Mike picked up his keys, kissed her goodbye, and walked out the door. Angie curled up on the couch and continued reading.

Several hours later Angie was startled awake by the fall of her book to the floor, she went to the kitchen to get a drink. She returned to the couch and picked up the remote. She muted the sound and prepared to channel surf but all she found was news. The clock chimed midnight. The news should be over, what happened to Saturday Night Live? She kept channel surfing but even HGTV had the news on. She unmuted the sound. Guess I should find out what the big deal is.

Mary Jane Finney was reporting. “Police are telling all residents of Pennsylvania to stay away from Three Mile Island. Something has gone terribly wrong – and that’s all they will say. On the eastern side of the Susquehanna River, the military is patrolling. No one is getting in and no one is getting out. The status of those in the red zone is unknown.” Angie muted the television as she tried to digest the news.

Want to know what happens next?

When Zombies Attack a book of short stories and flash fiction and it's now 

onAMAZON KINDLE UNLIMITED!

This was written on a dare from Mike Lombardo the producer and director of Reel Splatter Films, and also as an homage to Jonathan Maberry author of Zombie CSU. Please check out the work of both men. Mike Lombardo the awesome zombie producer and Jonathan Maberry a great horror author.

Thank you for reading.