Thursday, July 3, 2014

THE ANGEL IN MY LAP


           My morning routine includes a cup of green tea, the morning news, and my Boston terrier, Patches sleeping soundly in my lap as we wait for the house to warm up. She curls up in my lap and lays her head on my arm—usually the arm next to that cup of tea.
          Heaven forbid I sit in the easy chair working on my laptop alone. This is her spot. She will stand with her paws on the armrest and stare me down with those big brown eyes until I put the computer away or make room for her too. I've learned to type with her paw on the keyboard. My new chair will be over-sized so there will always be room for her.
          If I eat, she has to eat. Moreover, if I go to the bathroom, she's waiting by the back door when I’m done. When I nap, she curls up beside me and snores with a sound that resonates as loud as a freight train, but it's a sound I love. Her greeting when I walk in the door is always smile inducing, and if I don't have a treat for her I feel like I've let her down, but she never complains. Her response to the word walk or the jingle of her lease, well I cannot help but wish her energy were transferable.
          I sometimes feel that she’s mini me, my shadow, my conscience. She is the reason I get up in the morning, literally. Each night she leads the way to bed and lets me tuck her in, but she won't rest her head until I'm in my bed next to hers.
          She just stretched and managed to capture my right arm, so I am typing this one handed while balancing my laptop on the arm of the chair. My teacup is empty, the news is repeating, and I really need to get to my day started. However, for several more minutes of cuddling with her, what better excuse to veg.
           She is an angel with deep brown eyes, soft warm body, few if any expectations, but a never-ending capacity to love. Leona Helmsley left 12 million dollars to her precious pet, and I know why!
          Patches is the angel in my lap, the sunshine that fills my day, and the love that makes my world go round.
Yolanda Renee © 2011

 Patches 
July 29, 2004 - July 3, 2014

I wrote this piece several years ago. Today, July 3, 2014, at 11:13 AM my little girl, Patches, passed away in my arms. I felt her heart stop beating. 

 On May 8th, she had two seizures within 12 hours and the doctor told us that it's typical for dogs to get epilepsy. We were hopeful and changed her diet. She seemed better. But on June 25 she had another, and then another and by Monday before her doctor's appointment, she'd had seven more seizures, and then another at the doctor's office. The doctor diagnosed a brain tumor. He gave us medication and it decreased the number and severity, but she was declining rapidly. She no longer knew her name, or us, or her surroundings. 

 Last night she allowed me to hold her for several hours. This morning I knew things were worse. I held her, assured her of my love, and prayed for God's mercy. She died in my arms and I'm so very grateful for the opportunity to have known such a beautiful creature. My heart is broken for the loss of her. 


R. I. P. - My sweet baby girl!




21 comments:

Sally said...

So sorry.

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry. I loved my dog-dog dearly and cried when we had to say good-bye a few months ago. They are family, truly. Comfort to you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yolanda, I'm sorry! Your angel served you well while she was here. You'll never sit in that chair without thinking of her.
Just really sucks our furry friends don't live as long as we do.

Francine Howarth said...

Commiserations, Yolanda. Patches will always be with you in spirit!

best
F

Luanne G. Smith said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. And especially touched, since I have a ten year old Boston Terrier myself. She's about lost all her teeth now, and she can't jump up on the couch without staggering anymore. I dread the day I have to say goodbye to her. Most lovable dogs ever.

Denise Covey said...

Yolanda, so heartbreaking to lose your faithful friend. Oh how you will miss her! She'll be with you whatever you do, wherever you go. Many tears will flow and that's how it should be. Please take care of yourself at this stressful time. x

Jo said...

I feel for you. We haven't had a pet in years and I miss having one so much. It is such a terrible wrench when they leave us but I have decided it's better that they go first, the thought of leaving them behind horrifies me. My sincere sympathies.

Pat Hatt said...

Sorry to hear you lost her, but she sure had a great life and they'll always be great thoughts to look back on.

Julie Flanders said...

Oh, this made me cry. I'm so terribly sorry, Yolanda. Patches was a beautiful girl and I can imagine how much you will miss her. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a beloved pet. Sending many hugs your way.

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Pets are such a joy and the loss of them is incredibly hard to bear. I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Susan Scott said...

Yolanda I am so sorry for you that Patches is no longer with you.
How sad to lose your beloved pet.

Elise Fallson said...

I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you. I know how hard it is to have to let go of a beloved pet. She was a lucky girl to have been in such a loving home. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Green Monkey said...

soooo sorry to hear about Patches. You are both lucky to have each other and I'm certain that a little thing called "death" won't keep you apart.

Yolanda Renée said...

Thank you all for your kind words of support and sympathy. Losing her was so unexpected but writing a tribute in remembrance seemed the appropriate task, but what I didn't expect were the tears each comment brought. Just as each little reminder, from her favorite cheese sticks in the fridge, to the water and food bowl I can't seem to put away, and the toy hidden behind the couch, along with all the precious memories I never want to let go. She is worth each and every red - swollen face and runny nose!

klahanie said...

Dear Yolanda,

I'm deeply saddened by the passing of your beloved Patches. Not a pet and indeed, a cherished family member. The pain those of us who understand about the unconditional, non-judgemental love that our dogs share with us, is deeply profound.

Bless dear Patches. Always loved. Never forgotten.

Hugs, your friend,

Gary

Maurice Mitchell said...

How sad Yolanda. Losing someone you care about is always so hard. Animal or not. The easy chair will always help you remember your sweet Patches.

Ella said...

Yolanda,
Your angel holds your spirit in her heart! This is so sad-my hound is like your angel. I am so sorry-she was your shadow, your tiny cheerleader. There is no love like that of a beloved pet~ Write about her-her spirit lives in your memories~ (((hugs)))

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh my God, this made me cry so much. I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. A blessing that she died in your arms, where she has always felt so safe and loved, and not in a vet's office. Poor wee girl. Our beloved dogs give us so much love so unconditionally. But it breaks our hearts when they have to go.

Nilanjana Bose said...

I am so sorry to hear this, Yolanda. Losing your companion must be so hard. Wishing you peace and peaceful memories. Take care.

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P.S.: I really feel for your loss. We lost our beloved Stewie to old age last May 15th, and still catch myself looking for him around the house.

Trisha said...

I'm so sorry for your loss - I know how hard it is to lose a beloved furry friend. I've been there.

She would have had a wonderful life with you!