HOSPITALITY
“Hey boys, how ’bout y’all makin’ yer Ma some
wind chimes?”
The words sounded authentic, the scene
before me, even more so. A small two story house the color of the sky with
white trim and a wraparound porch shouted welcome. The green trees and colorful
flowers said water was plentiful. I licked my dry, cracked lips with an equally
dry swollen tongue.
Each step up the wide expanse of hot red
clay mixed with sharp gravel was sheer torture on bare feet. Three days ago my
car broke down; I thought I could walk out, but the road changed and when I
attempted to go back to my car, I ended up on a path to nowhere.
The Matriarch sitting in the rocking chair
on the porch reminded me of my grandmother until she spoke.
"Lookie hyar,
fellas. Dinner's arrived, cuss it all t' tarnation. Come on now, put out th'
welcome platter, we'll hafta fatten her up fust."
149 Words
Yolanda Renee © 2015
*****
This is unique flash fiction challenge is hosted by Barb
Beacham, where she provides a new photo each week, and the first sentence of a
story.
Our challenge is to finish the
story using 100-150 words, not including the sentence provided. Don’t forget to use the opening sentence…
This challenge runs from Monday to Sunday! Get creative and have fun finishing
the story!
Please include
the photo with your bit of flash and a link back to this post. Do not
forget to follow the link to Monday's Finish the Story and click on the blue frog. Be sure to add your link so that others can enjoy
your story too! Now let’s have some fun!
It is as though the Deliverance meets Wrong Turn.
ReplyDeleteVery creepy take on the sentence!
Funny thing is it didn't start out there at all! I was seriously thinking of my grandmother and a scene from my childhood. How hospitable she was and what fun we had going to her house. Somewhere I took a dark turn! :)
DeleteThat was a bad place to break down near!
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Alex, indeed!
DeleteA really great scary creepy write ~ I love the finish ~ You have constructed a great character here Yolanda ~ Well done :)
ReplyDeleteThanks John, it did end up a bit creepy didn't it! :)
DeleteCreepy indeed!!! I swear I felt like I was there while reading this... well done!!!!.
ReplyDeletehttps://thecoastalquill.wordpress.com/
Thank you Debbie, that's quite a compliment!
DeleteGosh I'm thirsty. Didn't take many words to create that atmosphere at all.
ReplyDeleteLove the smaller word counts for flash fiction, but somehow when I have more words and a limit, I barely make it! :)
DeleteEeek! Great job giving us the Matriarch's voice...creepy old bat that she is! :-)
ReplyDeleteHey Mina, thanks, so appreciated!
DeleteCreepy. I can hear that accent.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sally, that means a lot!
DeleteCreepy good! Love the last bit! Thank you Yolanda for another contribution to the MFtS challenge. Be well... ^..^
ReplyDeleteYou too Barb, sorry there was conflict around this prompt - so uncalled for. The memories it triggered for me brought me here. Why the dark turn, just because - surprises are always good!
DeleteThe voice is magnificent Yolanda. Deliverance all right!
ReplyDeleteAn almost copy of actual family for that voice. Thank you!
DeleteCannibals and Deliverance rolled into one.
ReplyDeleteJust a short story is all!
DeleteCreepy! Cannibals have to fatten the "calf." Hope she finds a way to escape. Loved the dialogue but couldn't figure out where it was from.
ReplyDeleteHaven't thought that far ahead, maybe I should as it was in first person! :)
DeleteY'all done gud wit dis 'un.
ReplyDeleteNice job.
Thank you tnkerr, your have the dialect down quite well!
DeleteFun and freaky piece! But hey, while they fatten you up, you get more of a chance to get away, right?
ReplyDeleteThanks Shannon, that means a lot! Your reviews of horror make me want to follow all your suggestions, but I fear too many sleepless nights ahead. :)
DeleteHopefully she can escape before she gets to fat to run.
ReplyDeleteHey Diane, I have you to thank for a renewed sense of confidence! And yes, I'm thinking running is a good idea, but first a taste of those delicious looking cinnamon rolls! :)
DeleteGreat write. Enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteThanks yarnspinnerr - your work is magic!
DeleteThey're going to eat her? Eek! Cannibalism always freaks me out.
ReplyDeleteHonestly Chrys, it does me too - it's why I hate Zombies! :)
DeleteOh no!! Wrong turn- go back!!!
ReplyDeleteHa, ha, it may be too late. Thanks Elizabeth!
DeleteOh no! The MC definitely took a wrong turn somewhere.
ReplyDeleteThat she did, Cherie, that she did. :(
DeleteLOL that's great. I can almost hear the banjos playing.
ReplyDeleteomg this is so creepy. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI love these flash fiction stories, so fun to read.
Oh crumbs, I hope she was joking :-( I love the sudden change from the welcoming home, a saviour after such a long walk in the blistering heat, and then Ma's rather sinister proclamation.
ReplyDeletePath to nowhere indeed. It sounds like this bunch has gone mad as happers, completely bonkers. Well done, Yolanda. :) --- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Yolanda! So creepy, but I can envision everything perfectly from your descriptions!
ReplyDeleteLori @ The Rattling Bones